"It's the most wonderful time of the year...."
So goes the song. But for many people this can be the most lonely time of the year--or the most frantic. And if you're frazzled, it's hard to really enjoy Christmas.
I know that many of you don't celebrate Christmas, but some of the principles outlined here can be applied to other celebrations and to life in general, so please read on.
I fear that in the busyness (and I also struggle with loneliness around the Holiday season), I neglect to focus on the reason that we celebrate Christmas. It might be the:
- plethora of activities
- buying presents
- hustle in the streets and on the internet as retailers make offers that I need to take advantage of right now or miss out on a great deal.....
But the real meaning of Christmas can't be said really any better than it was by Linus in A Charlie Brown Christmas as he quoted from Luke 2:8-14.
We're celebrating that Christ came for us as a man to pay for our sins and to walk with us on this road of life.
This past Sunday night our church small group met for our Christmas party. As we pulled up to park our car across the street from the host's home, we saw a beautiful sight greeting us. Above the garage we saw this...
I love Christmas lights, but this was really something.
This is what greeted us as we pulled into our hosts' driveway.
We commented on the lights to the host as we entered his home, and he said that there'd been a lot of comments about his lights in years past. He then told us about this particular comment.
A neighbor was coming home after his wife's passing during the Christmas season. He came up to our host on the sidewalk after seeing the lights, and said that he'd driven home and seen the lights - "Emmanuel / God With Us"--and that he then knew that it was going to be alright.
Not perfect, but alright.
We all need to slow down and think about what this season is all about.
I'm Too Busy
Our family is certainly not very good at this.
- My husband's a professor, and the end of the semester (right at Christmastime) is chaotic.
Finals and grading--and in our case, preparing for teaching the winter term. Busy.
- During a typical "Christmas Break" (I use the term loosely) we add onto all of that the annual visit to the national convention in his field that was almost mandatory. And did I mention that our anniversary is December 30? It's always been a whirlwind.
But there are a few things that I think we've done well to slow down a bit. Note, I said "well"--not "perfect."
I hope they give you some ideas for slowing down this Christmas season.
6 Ways to Slow Down and Really Enjoy Christmas
Limit Gift Giving
I love presents--giving them and getting them. But a number of years ago I heard someone say that a good thing to aim for is to give only three gifts to each child . The reasoning behind this is pretty obvious....if three gifts were enough for Jesus, then shouldn't they be enough for us?
This shouldn't be another legalistic rule. We've done the "three gift thing" for a number of years now, and I have still put a few extra presents in each of our boys' stockings. This past year there were more than three presents each.
The point here is we don't need huge piles of gifts under the tree for each person in order to celebrate Christmas. Really, the more gifts there are, the more distracting the gift giving becomes to everyone.
Celebrate the Twelve (or four, or five) Days of Christmas
In some ways the hype of Christmas morning is really exciting. Kids wake up at 5 am and parents stumble out of bed after staying up until 3 am wrapping gifts:).
Well, the adrenaline wears out pretty quickly and soon everyone is hankering for a nap or a lot of chocolate in order to make it through the day (sounds like a recipe for adrenal fatigue).
What we have done in our home is spread Christmas out. Sometimes waaaaaaay out.
We typically don't have the kids open a gift on Christmas Eve because it seems to rev them up to wake up early the next morning. In fact, things have become so low key about presents in our household that this past year, our youngest didn't even know that it was Christmas until around noon! That's because we just each open one gift each day, starting on Christmas.
This really has helped us tone down the frenzy and the after-Christmas let down.
For us this has really worked. Mom isn't up until all hours of the morning wrapping gifts, and if you haven't found a few things that you were hoping to get, then you can still buy and wrap even a day or two after Christmas.
And you can even take advantage of the after Christmas sales!
Have a Birthday Cake for Jesus
Probably no explanation is needed here. And again, don't feel that you need to do this. I used to bake homemade cinnamon rolls, a cake for Jesus, a number of homemade pumpkin pies with whole grain crust for the family, and everything at our dinner was homemade and as healthy as possible. Well, reality has set in and I just can't handle all of that anymore.
Jesus can have a cake two days after Christmas, and we don't need cinnamon rolls. Or maybe we can have Black Bean Fudge instead!
Reach Out
Find someone who needs to be reached out to--an elderly neighbor, a lonely college student, a family from out of town, folks whom you wouldn't normally reach out to.
Even if they already have plans, they'll be thankful that you thought of them.
Do Advent Reading and / or a Jesse Tree
We've missed a lot of our Advent readings this year and had to go back and make up missed days, but this has been a really good thing regardless. We planned to do a Jesse Tree, and I think we still will this year, though it'll be late. Anything that brings the true meaning of the season into your home is a good thing - -as long as it isn't causing a bunch of stress and more deadlines.
Put Up Your Own "Emmanuel / God With Us" Lights
I would LOVE to do this.
Every time you pull into your own driveway, you will know that it is going to be alright. Not perfect, but alright. Maybe I need a string of these lights hanging over my kitchen sink!
Do you have a tip for slowing down at this busy time of year?
Just reading this. I needed to read this today. Next year we will try to implement more of this, but I am thinking maybe we could start this year by doing the 12 days of Christmas, and not open a pile of gifts on Christmas day. And I could let my relatives know this too, so that when my gifts and cards come after Christmas, they aren't late, LOL!! I think a real 12 days would make things so much less stressful!! I have been trying to do something similar to the 3 gifts idea, but it is this one: something they want, something they need, something to wear, something to read. But then the grandparents both (my parents are split up, so we get double-duty gifting, plus my step-mom and dad seem to work independently, so sometimes we get triple-duty) shower gifts on the kids, and I always feel so overwhelmed and even guilty. I am thinking of spreading out the gifts, maybe saving some for another occasion. At least next year, I want to send out a thoughtful letter to my parents, letting them know how that if they want to give more than a reasonable gift or two to the kids or us that they can use any extra funds for a college fund. Anyway, I really appreciated the post, and especially the reminder that we don't need to do any of it perfectly!!
Hi Stephanie! Thanks for reading and for taking the time to comment. I actually need to read this myself again b/c things aren't going at all as I would have hoped this year. I might need the 12 MONTHS of Christmas - ha!
I have heard some people who have relatives that give a lot to their children just totally back off and don't give anything....b/c their kids have enough coming in. I think that's totally fine--no guilt! I think your letter idea is great.
One of the companies that I work w/ for my blog donated some money to a lovely charity in my name as a Christmas gift. Much nicer than receiving something I really didn't need :).
I'm for sure not perfect...not even close!
Merry and Restful and Holy Christmas to you and yours.
I read that you are a patient of theresa Vernon. She is a bad person who likes most people to stay sick. It takes a long time to find out that.
Can you tell me what post I wrote that in? I will try to find it. I haven't been with her for a long time.
Great post. I love your idea of having Christmas week. What a stress reliever. When you stated that you might still do the Jesse tree, that was such an eye-opener. It's OK to not get it all done on a specific timetable. THANK YOU!! I was so stressed over the fact that I couldnt buy for my children, my 10 year old daughter told me several times, "It's ok mom, that's not what it's about". She is the encourager in our broken family 🙂 Thank you for the ideas!
Teresa
We are doing it this year too - way too busy to get things done. My kids got one present so far :). And it was a Groupon for a night out for ice cream (dairy free). I so hope to do the tree still :). Blessings!!!
I love your #4 -reaching out to others - it's such a great point! : )
Thanks for sharing, as you know, I needed this! Going to try to implement some of these!
Oh, I didn't know you were doing too much. It used to be really bad for me.
I always enjoy your articles. And this one is so much on point. I was just telling a friend today that Christmas should be everyday. You don't have to wait for a day or a season to be generous. Everyday should be about being loving and creating long lasting memories with loved ones, not loading up with a ton of gifts. Your love is the gift!
You are so right. We can celebrate Christ's birth year round. Very good point and thanks for the kind words.
Thank you so much, Adrienne, for the great post. I love the "Emmanuel God with Us" sign....any idea where they purchased it? I tried searching online, but didn't come up with anything.
Have a blessed Christmas!
I think they made it. Neat, huh?
Even though this year we aren't doing Christmas like we have in the past, it's just been a very challenging season , to say the least.... I needed to be encouraged by this message, and it is always nice to know you aren't alone.
Love that lighting.. Emmanuel, God with us! Amen!!!
It's a challenge for me every year. No family close and more issues. You are not alone - blessings!
Thanks Adrienne! I needed this reminder!
God Bless and Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas to you too!
Such wonderful ideas! Thank you so much for linking up at A Christ-Centered Christmas! I look forward to exploring your blog.
Thank you for your kind words, Mary. I hope you find some helpful things here :-).
Great post! For my three gifts, I focus on being representative of the gold, frankincense, and myrrh... So one bigger toy or game or jewelry item (depending on the person... Actually it'll be yellow rubber duckies this year for the little ones!); a beauty or take care of your body item (again the rubber duckies for the relatives are a fit because they make bath-time fun); and a soul-preservation item (the rubber duckies are going to be all the characters in the nativity story!). I roll all three into one if I can for other relatives and really focus on three for our house, but it's fun and purposeful when I am planning gifts each year now! And I don't have to neglect St. Nicholas! We watch the veggie tales movie and fill stockings in honor of St. Nick.
Nice ideas, Elisabeth. Thanks for the compliment. We've actually given more than 3 some years, but nothing as extravagant as the heaps of gifts that were under the tree when I was little. It was so overwhelming!
These are all wonderful ideas! As my kids are growing, I'm always on the lookout for new, meaningful ways of incorporating Christ into all our celebrations! Thanks for linking up at A Christ-Centered Christmas!
You're welcome, Jennifer! It's an older post that should be "cleaned up" but I wanted to share nonetheless.
Hmmm...I think I might have seen that sign before 🙂 Great list by the way! Your suggestions are wonderful.